 |
| First day of school! |
I know ... I'm overdue for any sort of update on summer, much less any sort of musings about fall. I know. Forgive me dear reader. I have much on my mind. Much on my mind. And sometimes, the way to work through the mind-much-ness is to simply stay present -- to be where your feet are -- until the time is right for reflection. Ah, it's nice to be back in the blog seat.
Molly here. (Yes, Ken's more light-hearted stories will make a thundering return -- soon.) A writing professor once advised to always write what's on your mind. Because if you're thinking of and feeling something authentically, often, your story will write itself. And so, I offer you, dear reader, a story of authentic thoughts. Grab an adult beverage, a comfy chair, and watch as this story writes (rights?) itself.
 |
| A Sam note |
Almost five-year-old-Sam is practicing his penmanship. His R's are crooked; his S's backward. His word love is lopsided, and the dot of his exclamation point consistently bleeds into the bottom part of the exclamation stick. I'm regularly greeted with hand-crafted notes and pictures -- some taped right to the closet door, others propped up against anything that stands still. Messages of care, curiosity and unabashed love shout from his pages, and I can't help but smile. "I love you too, Sam," I say. "To the moon and back. Thank you for your great note!" He grins, proud of himself.
And I can't help but think: Wouldn't it be so easy if love were as simple as Sam's V and inverted 3? If love were as straightforward as the rush of his embrace and the ease of his smile? When we're young, we hear "I love you," and we readily love back. As a christian, we hear, "...the greatest of these is love," and "...love the Lord your God with all your heart." We hear this, we see this, we learn this, and we think, OK -- I got this. Here we go. Loving.
 |
| Sam: Age 4 |
And it is good. We learn how to love and be loved. We feel love as bright, strong, full and pure as the moon. To the moon and back.
We grow up. We discover. We experience. Things happen. And for one reason or another, love doesn't feel as bright, strong, pure as the moon. In fact, to the moon and back is far too long of a journey, and there's a shadow to our moon that makes loving really ... hard. We try, to readily love back, but quite frankly, someone or something has let us down. A broken friendship. An unexpected death. An admired leader admitting alcoholism. A job offer unexpectedly withdrawn. An abusive, controlling ex-husband refusing to move on. A mentor admitting an affair. A mass layoff event. We're angry, disappointed. We want to believe in more. Our moon is eclipsed; our spirit feels dark. It's difficult to love.
 |
| Lunar Eclipse |
What once was easy and pure and strong is suddenly not, and we're looking for a new way to love. A new way to feel our fullness. I contend that as a kid, we love by learning to love back. And as we grow up, we love by learning to forgive. Not that profound, really -- and sounding downright church-y, I know. And it's hard. Who wants to forgive? Forgiveness involves relaxing one's emotion, letting the offender off the hook, and in some cases letting go of what once was, and may still be, of value to you. Forgiveness is especially difficult when an apology doesn't exist. I'll take the simplicity of Sam's love instead, thank you very much.
 |
| Mom and Sam |
And yet, realization strikes. If I don't let go of my resentment, or invest my energy in learning to forgive, then I'll be anchored to an endless cycle of restlessness and cynicism. Who wants to be that crabby? That disconnected? That dark? Not I. And so, I look for examples, role models, good forgivers. And I think to myself, how best do I authentically emulate this forgiveness? What mantras or techniques may help me to let go, to open my heart, to out-run my lunar eclipse? Let me start today. Because life is not meant for shadowed living.
And so, dear reader, here's to the journey of loving and being loved. Here's to the hard work of forgiving and being forgiven. Let us always remember that life is not for shadowed living, and that what connects us all is strong, simple, bright and pure. Here's to loving to the moon and back.
Until next time,
Molly
No comments:
Post a Comment