A day in the life of the party

minor bits of hilarity ensue around these parts, and i'm compelled to document them, lest i repeat ken's follies in the coming months. sam here -- happy summer! after a whopping record of two for 24, mom and dad and ken took a 10-day hiatus from the potty training bit. in that time, we welcomed another wave of visitors eager to meet georgia (and see us, of course). summer's been kickin' really. despite the blanket of heat, we've spent a plethora of time outside - exploring all possibilities with sidewalk chalk, sand toys, our atw radio flyer (all-terrain wagon, to the common folk), and the public park behind the cop shop.
now. back to the aforementioned hilarity.

we were scrambling to get in the van and go somewhere. for the life of me, i can't remember where the five of us were headed, but i'm sure were were late, or approaching the distinct possibility of being late. three occupied car seats now declares a new seating arrangement. ken's in the back seat, and georgia and i are situated in the middle captain seats. as mom's buckling ken, he drops one of his two matchbox cars and immediately beings to freak. (he's like that - about his matchbox cars.) "I can't find the car in my butt! I can't find the car in my butt!" what? how does one manage a matchbox car in the posterior region? mom finally lifts ken completely out of his car seat only to find his favorite green matchbox car wedged between his waistband and his ham hocks.

in other news, potty training has resumed. thanks to a recently acquired potty chair (see my practice round pictured above), ken maintains a renewed interest in landing his bodily waste in the appropriate potty place. i'm proud to report that over the last 48 hours, he's averaging about 85% -- a vast improvement over the first training attempt. keep the good thoughts coming, my readers. it's helping. of course, this potty business is begging the exploration of certain appendages. last week, ken proclaimed his need to go, so dad ensured safe alighting to the throne. after five minutes of sitting, i hear dad's exasperated shout, "Are you gonna go potty? Or are you gonna sit there and play with your dink?" to which ken - equally exasperated - shouts, "I just want to play with it!"


don't we all, ken. don't we all.

i'll sign off for now. hope this message finds you smiling. know that baby georgia is doing well. she continues to eat and sleep like a champ; it's safe to say that both ken and i adore her.

keepin' it real,
sam

The devil went down to Georgia on my mind

Confession: It's been about two weeks since the birth of one Georgia Conrad, and I'm still wondering which side of crazy I am for deciding it would be cool to have a handful of children all at once. I think my initial reason lay in the  semi-sexy ideal that the offspring could all grow up together. Hm. I've since decided that whether you're 15 months apart or 15 years apart, you're still siblings, and you'll still chill out together.Tip for future parents: No need to feel you're doing your children a favor by spacing them less than two years apart. Essentially, you're only setting yourself up to realize that it's abnormal to have three children simultaneously in diapers, with about 60% of your household speaking either broken English or no English at all.You'll also set a new standard for yourself the day you match your toddler in volume as you calmly scream about the necessity of taking a nap. Then, instead of taking a much-needed nap yourself (because your two-week-old infant didn't actually fall asleep for the night until about 3:45 a.m.), you sit on the couch and enjoy 10 or 20 handfuls of Costco-brand animal crackers, acknowledge and accept the fact that you haven't showered for three days, and just listen to the sound of a silent house.
She's here! Georgia Corrigan Conrad arrived on a not-so-random Wednesday evening, and --despite the semi-surly tone of the above paragraph -- I'm in love. While the last two weeks have been nothing short  of a monumental shift in our daily routines, here's a quick summary of the last 14+ days, according to Ken:

1. Mom is home all day long. I love it. The rules that typically apply to Saturday and Sunday only now exist in a blur of not-sure-what-day-it-is-because-they-all-sort-of-feel-the-same-but-we-can-have-whipped-cream-on-our-waffles-anyway-because-Mom is here.
2. A steady stream of visitors have graced our household. It's been so fun to see friends and family! While Georgia is acquiring the necessary attire needed to remain pretty in pink, Sam and I have kept ourselves busy with bikes, matchbox cars and books -- in that order.
3. Grandma Corrigan spent some quality time with me and Sam while Mom and Dad were in the hospital with Georgia, and then a few more days just to help Mom and Dad get on their feet with this three-kid business.Grandma does it all, I tell you. We went for walks every day; I showed her how to get to the park. She helped us with house cleaning and laundry; she made us stuffed   green peppers and angel food cake; she even cleaned all the dried food and muck off of the side of the dishwasher. (Yes, Sam's chair is situated right beside our free-standing dishwasher,which transforms Sam into a regular food-painting Picasso.) Most notably, Grandma's a pro at playing kid songs on the guitar; I can't think of a more fun way to sing "Row Row Your Boat" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." Totally. Awesome.
4. Sam and I took a few days to hang with Grandma and Grandpa Conrad and family at the   Conrad family lake place in Wisconsin. Mosquitoes, bonfires and roasted marshmallows. Need I say more? My aunts Val and Sue really know how to throw a summer party, and I think Mom and Dad enjoyed the extra few days to just focus on Georgia.
5. Since my return from the Wisconsin lake, I'm doing my best to accommodate the newest addition to our family. I sure wish Georgia were big enough to play but, Mom says I have to wait for the snow before Georgia can really hang with us. She's little. It sort of makes me wish I were a baby, too, but Mom continues to tell me that I'm a good big brother, and that I will always be her best Ken. I'll buy that.

In other news, potty training has begun. I can now say with complete confidence that I know exactly when I've wet my pants. Next step: to actually go in the potty. It's been a little rough so far; wish me luck.

Mom and I hope this message finds you well. 

Until next time,

Ken

The waiting game of cards

Waiting. We're waiting. The baby crib is up. The car seat is in. The 0-3 month gender-neutral clothes are washed. Hospital bag is packed. We're waiting. Mom says the hardest part of waiting is the not knowing. At least, when you're waiting for Christmas, you know it arrives on December 25 - without fail. This whole waiting for Baby thing is a completely different game. She says to make no mistake: There are still plenty of things to do at work. A solid 11 days remain until the actual due date. To be pregnant for another 11 days (give or take) won't kill her, but the waiting might.
My recent observations of Mom tell me that she's antsy. Sometimes she sits in Dad's recliner, garbed in dad's shorts and t shirt, watching the second hand on the clock. I think she's counting. I hear words like 'three centimeters already' and 'contraction.' Other times, she's regular old Mom - zooming cars and reading books with us. But all the time, she's moving pretty slowly. We climb the basement steps together; one at a time. Dad does all the lifting now - garbage to the curb, laundry to the bedrooms, Sam into his crib. All in all, we're getting through this together, but I gotta tell you: this waiting thing is for the birds. It's time for Baby.
In my humble, almost-three-year-old opinion, I think the danger of waiting lays in direct relationship to one's ability to imagine possibilities. For example, what if Mom goes to work, makes it all the way up to the 19th floor, only to begin the motions of labor once again? Sweet lord. Contractions would start, baby would drop, all the lovely things that happen when baby drops would happen, and suddenly Mom would be in the nearest wheelchair, on the nearest ambulance, whisked to the nearest hospital. While the story may not make  the intranet news site at Target, it would certainly be the talk of red and khaki town for a solid two weeks.
I think the bottom line is this: Mom's not so good at waiting. Waiting takes patience. Takes discipline. Takes the wisdom to know that time moves at the same pace it always has - whether you're ready and waiting or caught by surprise. While she has some of all three of these traits: patience, discipline and wisdom, I'm here to tell you that waiting happily takes work, and Mom could use a hand.
Further reflection tells me that we've all been there. Perhaps you're there right now: waiting. Maybe you're waiting for a baby, waiting for that promotion, waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right, waiting to understand your next step in life, or simply waiting for the bus. Here's to the ability to put complaints on a shelf, worries to the curb, and a smile on your face. Here's to happy waiting. Here's to knowing that all things happen in their own time, and even when you've already done all of the right things to prepare, the way you live your waiting time defines your character, shapes your attitude, and always, always strengthens you for what's to come.

In the final stretch marks

sam here - catching up in the world of blogs. let's just say ... 2012 hasn't been the greatest year for regular blog posts. thanks for sticking with us, loyal readers! my opinion: ken and my blogging energy will return at full force once this bun in the oven is cooling on the welcome-to-life-now stove top. Exactly 20 days to go until this supposed baby in mom's belly becomes a reality.

in the mean time: a few updates from the window of conrad the younger --

mom and dad pinched pennies for a few years, and i'm thrilled to report that a california-style fence now lines the perimeter of our back yard. three cheers for the ability to wander without incessant parental reminders to turn around, come this way, or not in the neighbor's flowers, sam.

i awoke one afternoon in april to mom, dad and ken sitting in minivan. yes, just sitting. imagine my surprise, as i climbed into the seat next to ken, when mom informed me the minivan belonged to us. really? the seats are so .... high. the windows are so wide ... and when we listen to "This Old Man," dad pushes a special button to help us rear-seat dwellers hear the tune even better. awesome. i think dad may have shed a tear as he watched the trusty family buick alight a flat-bed and free-ride its way to its chosen donation location. while dad admits to "trundling headlong into middle-aged suburbia" (a direct quote), i will say that the minivan moves with the speed and alacrity that a man of my stamina and charisma has come to expect in life.

big brother ken was the first to notice that mom no longer wears her rings. apparently this baby-on-the-way has claimed mom's clear skin, waistline and the space between her digits. as a result of his uncanny ability to notice the important things, ken and mom made a deal: once baby comes out, and mom wears her rings again, ken will wear undies. we'll see how that goes. my guess: he'll need my shining example to inspire him into potty training execution mode. i'll keep you posted.

in a more recent update, dad completed his undergrad semester with grace and style. the man has become the rodin's thinker of economics. truth: minnesota public radio (mpr) is set on a daily alarm so that the three of us are guaranteed a breakfast serenade of public radio opinion and economic food for our heads. does that make us a collection of geeks? i think not until dad starts calling into the show. who knows, though. ken may beat him to it.

it's officially summertime, and i've acquired the official minnesota farmer's tan, a handful of healthy mosquito bites, and the tune to "bah bah black sheep." while i do feel badly for the 'little boy who lives down the drain,' i'm happy with the general cadence our days have taken. mom's middle continues to expand, and dad's checking off the list of things to do before the official due date. (personally i don't think the reality of another baby really hit him until he rearranged the space in the minivan to accommodate a third car seat. his face is still a little white.)

cheers, my readers. ken and i will assume the responsibility for informing you of the date and specs of our pending sibling. until then, enjoy the sunshine, and know that good thoughts are sent to you daily.

sam

Watching the super bowl of popcorn

My alter-ego has arrived. You can call her Mindy. In short, the spirally goodness known as my hair has moved from the Shirley temple-esque coil to more of a cooked fettuccini look. Hormones, anyone? I’m hoping that the birth of this baby may greet the return of the prodigal curl. Until then, I’ve picked up a few hair-smoothing tips, and am attempting the feat of actually styling my hair every morning.

Have you ever watched a Stir Crazy popcorn popper in action? Aside from the fact that it may be the most effective vehicle for making good popcorn, it’s also an appropriate comparison to life’s sometimes-surprising pace. Typical days move in a steady circle – like the calm twirling of the popcorn rod thingy that pushes around the oil and seeds. Other days, the unexpected is popping from all directions, and you’re just not sure where to look first. Some might call that lack of planning. I call it life.

It’s safe to say that the last eight weeks at the Corrigan/Conrad abode matches that of the Stir Crazy popcorn popper. No complaints really. I mean, there comes a point where you simply have to melt some butter, grab the salt and just enjoy the popcorn.

We’re at T minus 16 weeks, and I’m tickled to report that only one person exists in this world who knows whether this bun in the oven is a boy or a girl. Ah, the life of a secret-keeping ultrasound technician. I contend it’s a girl; Adam thinks it’s a boy. Considering I’m oh-for-two in the knowing-the-sex-of-the-baby department, I won’t be crushed if you side with Adam on this one.

At sixteen months, Sam’s vocab abounds. Yesterday he sneezed, and then promptly said, “Bless you. Thank you. You’re welcome.” This is just one example of the full conversation he completes with himself on a regular basis. Other dialogue-turned monologues include, “Here you go. Thank you. You’re welcome.” And, “Read a book? Ok. Here we go.” Sam is almost always enamored with his older brother, will cry if you roar too loudly with the story-book lions, and he absolutely loves to sing. His melodies often reflect a blend of nursery rhymes and our daily prayers. I have yet to meet another kid who transitions from “The Itsy-Bitsy-Spider” to “Hail Mary Gentle Woman” in a single key. I adore him.

Ken makes me laugh every day. I will admit, however, that we’re still working through that older-brother-bossy thing. Last week he pushed Sam over in order to acquire the Magna-Doodle. Before I could intervene with proper repercussion, he carefully tucked the toy under one arm and said, “Here, Sam. I’ll give you a hug.” Sam, always quick to forgive accepted the hug, smiled and moved onto the next toy. (A plastic dinosaur with a broken head. Really? C’mon, Sam. Bamboozled.)

How is it that a kid who still dwells on the younger side of two has needed (and completed) a total of five and a half haircuts? Yes, half. Let’s talk about it. Our most recent trip to the barber was nothing short of an epic fail. I should have known we were in for it when it took coaxing (a dum-dum sucker) to even get him to sit in the damned chair. While the barber shop shall remain nameless, I will say that impatient grunts and scowls from our ‘stylist’ may have also contributed to the slippery-slope of the impending melt-down. After a 10-minute battle with a penguin-painted apron, electric clippers, a few hearty screams and some toddler tears, we walked out of the shop with a bloody knick on the upper-left earlobe, a partially shaved head and a soggy dum-dum stick. Ken was pretty upset, too.

Yesterday, we completed Adam’s top-of-the-line-home-haircut, and I said to Ken, “See, Dad’s really gentle with haircuts. We should finish your haircut so that you can be just as handsome as Dad.” Without missing a beat, Ken replied, “No thanks, Ken and Sam don’t need haircuts.” Needless to say, it may take a while before my sweet-but-serious two-year-old steps anywhere near the kid shears again. I’m open to suggestions for how to remedy this. Any ideas?

And, the story continues. Adam and I are holding our own in the realm of responsibilities that life has laid out for us. Despite the mach speed that my work has become, and the hilarious chaos that ensues with two toddlers and a baby on the way, I continue to fall in love with all three of my boys a little more every day.  Life is good. And the popcorn is delicious.

Twinkle twinkle little star of wonder, star of night

 We celebrated Halloween in style. Sam turned one. Dad made cake. We donned a couple of pretty sweet Seuss costumes, and by house number three, it clicked. I push the bell, mumble and smile, and watch the sweet goodness of artificial flavors pile into my candy bucket. Seriously. Life gets no sweeter.
Apologies for the temporary blog hiatus. Mom's cookin' another bun, and her bedtime over the last few months has matched my own. That's right, readers: July 2012 promises baby number three. While Sam and I really have no idea what that means (nor do we comprehend the potential for a massive overhaul of our daily routines), Mom and Dad seem to know what they're doing. I'll go with it.

December's been interesting. I'll remain fairly nonchalant in reporting that my urinary victory (see previous blog post) has been short-lived.  I battled a cold in November, and some random stomach virus through the first week of December. I mean, a guy can only focus on so many bodily happenings at once. My New Year's resolution: undies by February. I'll keep you posted.
On a more positive note, I hung out with Mary Kate, Nora and Greta a few times this month. I'll keep this cousin thing, I tell you what. Those girls know how to host a play date. One afternoon, we hung out with the hair accessories, and Nora immediately equipped me with a hair tie that read HOTTIE. I sported this esteem-booster around my wrist for a solid three weeks. I'm just sayin'.

Thanksgiving and Christmas! Who knew? We hung in Omaha for Turkey Day weekend - so great to see Grandma and Grandpa Corrigan, a bunch of aunts and uncles and almost all of my 16 cousins on that side. Grandma, your food ranks supreme; I had a blast with all of your books and toys! We shopped for a Christmas tree on the coldest day in December. (Actually, after five minutes, Mom brought us back to the trusty family Buick whilst Dad finished the tree-choosing task.) I opened all the doors on our Advent calendar, smiled like a hottie for our Christmas picture, and thoroughly enjoyed Christmas weekend with Grandma and Grandpa Conrad and family. Cool toys, delicious food, fun family, and a candle-lit church service with a multilingual tune of Silent Night. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, I may have found something sweeter than Halloween.
In other, non-holiday news, Sam's singing these days. His favorite song is "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Lately, I've taken to starting the tune, and I let him fill in the last word of each phrase. You know, I'll sing, "Twinkle, twinkle, little," and then Sam says, "star." You get the idea. I'll admit: It's cute. He's pretty alright at keeping a tune; Mom thinks he'll be the singer in the family. I'm okay with that.

We're ringing in the new year with a group of out-of-towners - can't wait to see them all. Best jet; Sam's attempting to scale the computer desk. I've promised him the next turn at this blogging business. I'm fairly confident he'll etch his thoughts shortly after the new year; for lately, he's got a lot to say. 


Peace out, and happy new year! 
Ken

Missed the mark your territory

It happened!
This morning!
I went. I really went!
Big Boy world, here we come!

I. went. potty.
More accurately, I was sitting on the pot when I peed all over the bathroom floor.

Still, the pride emanates, and the world should know.
Move over, Target-brand diapers: I'm ready for the big leagues.

Until next time,
Ken